Bitten

Jeremy Clarkson is filthy rich, tall and incredibly famous. Me, I qualify in none of these categories. But I love cars just as much as the big fella.

So while Clarkson was impressed by the new Audi RS 3 Sedan when he wrote about it for his internationally syndicated column in London’s Times; I would have take him to task and say that I reckon it’s a masterpiece.

Now, I’m not saying the baby Audi giant killer is a car for poor, short nobodies. But behind the wheel of the baby Audi giant killer, you feel every bit the Clarkson, minus the ego, perhaps.

It makes you feel very… special.

Subtle, in a way Audi has mastered, the new RS version of Audi’s small sedan has an undeniable presence: low stance, big wheels, pert little boot-lid spoiler, fat oval tailpipes, and that’s before you even hit a starter button that brings the newest version of their 2.5 litre five cylinder engine to life.

That single action explains this magic car’s raison d’etre: wonderful performance and the comforts and convenience of all the tech you could possibly want in a modern luxury sedan. Four doors, decent boot and all the dynamic poise you’d realistically ever need. It’s that wonderful duality modern engine management systems and electronically controlled performance modes that explain the RS 3 Sedan’s appeal. 

You really can drive it like a pensioner in comfort mode without drawing attention or feeling for a moment you’re holding back a wild stallion. When the opportunity allows, well, the figures speak volumes: Audi’s quattro system, which electronically controls the balance of drive percentage from front to back wheels, and  294kW/480Nm of torque from the all-new aluminium block version of the inline five it shares with the TT RS.

A sonorous growl from the pipes, a rush of adrenaline, an uncanny feeling of knowing exactly where the front wheels are at any time and, of course, serious brakes to work with that firm-ish, sports sedan ride/handling.

Yes, it’s seriously quick.

Ninety-nine per cent of the time, I reckon, this is every car you could ever need, or aspire to. 

John Lethlean is not a motoring journalist at The Australian