Four simple letters

A simple question – R U OK – that has life changing outcomes.

At the end of July the second R U OK Conversation Convoy will set off around Australia, spreading a simple, but life-saving message.

Story by James McRory

4 June, 2018

In 2017, four bright yellow Q7s and a dedicated team from R U OK set off on a six week journey around the country, encouraging people to ask a very simple yet vitally important question. R U OK?

Each vehicle represented one of the four parts of what goes into starting a conversation with someone who may need support – Ask, Listen, Encourage Action and Check in – the four steps identified as the best way not only to start the conversation, but to see it through and potentially change outcomes.

“What better way to do it visually than to wrap four vehicles and head around the country to reinforce the message,” says Brendan Maher, R U OK CEO of the first Conversation Convoy. “So that’s what we did.”

The R U OK Conversation Convoy covered 16,000km over six weeks, travelling through cities, towns and remote communities sharing stories and spreading the word – working with service providers in each location as well as community groups and leaders to help encourage people to look out for one another and not be afraid to ask the question if they felt a friend or family member needed a hand.

The idea for the Conversation Convoy, was born out of a desire to raise the profile of the organisation and help dispel the stigma so often associated with anxiety and mental health issues. It’s also a chance to connect communities with local service providers that in many cases they might not even be aware of, and show those in need that there are options and courses of action open to them to seek help and support.

The R U OK Conversation Convoy covered 16,000km over six weeks, travelling through cities, towns and remote communities sharing stories and spreading the word

The story of R U OK is inspiring but also highlights just how susceptible we all are to challenges and tragedy

It’s also about sharing the stories, which Brendan Maher says is an integral part of what R U OK is all about.

“Story telling is a really big component of what R U OK does,” says R U OK CEO, Brendan Maher. “When people can get a sense of other people who have got through challenging times with the help and support of family and friends, that really supports our mission of encouraging people to look out for one another.”

While R U OK operates all year round, the Conversation Convoy, supported by the Audi Foundation, is a way to bring the cause to the attention of as many Australian as possible – something that was achieved to great effect last year.

“We’ve always had a bit of build up to R U OK Day which happens on the second Thursday in September,” says Maher of the idea behind the Conversation Convoy. “We’ve always had a campaign theme and in 2014 we took a big yellow bus around the country in was called our ‘Mateship Tour’.”

That was followed in 2015 with a similar tour to support a campaign called ‘Thanks for Asking’ and in 2016 came the ‘Reconnect’ campaign.

In 2018, the R U OK Conversation Convoy will once again head out on the road and connect with communities around the country, continuing the work started by Gavin Larkin nearly a decade ago.

The story of R U OK is inspiring but also highlights just how susceptible we all are to challenges and tragedy. Established in 2009 by Gavin Larkin after Gavin’s father Barry took his own life, the organisation has since sought to remove the stigma of talking about problems whatever they may be. Sadly, Larkin himself was diagnosed with aggressive lymphoma only a year after establishing the charity and then his 12-year-old son was also diagnosed with brain cancer.

Gavin succumbed to his illness in 2011 and his son likewise in 2013, but the legacy of R U OK continues to this day, spreading the idea that a simple conversation can be enough to change someone’s world for the better.

But while the idea may be simple and the sentiment sincere, Maher says that there can be obstacles to getting the conversation started, which is where the high profile of the Convoy is invaluable.

“We did some research into some of the obstacles to starting a conversation with someone you’re concerned about,” he says, “and it can be quite a confronting thing reach out to someone you’re worried about and have a conversation.”

“The most popular part of the R U OK website is the ‘how to ask’ page which gives some clear tips and guidance on how you should ask, how to deal with things like denial and some techniques and tips on being a good listener. Not trying to solve someone’s problem but encouraging them to take some steps to help get them to a better place.”

“It’s all about mobilising a set of resources that we all have, but they are often held hostage by fear and stigma, and those resources are of course our eyes to notice that something’s not quite right, our mouths to ask, our ears to listen and our fingers to point that person towards some help.”

It’s all about mobilising a set of resources that we all have, but they are often held hostage by fear and stigma

The old saying, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ goes some way to explaining just how R U OK works and why it has been so readily accepted

The message, it seems, is really getting through, with up to 70 percent of Australians now aware of the R U OK movement.

“Hope was and is a really important part of the movement, and we really felt that people went away from our events [at Conversation Convoy 2017] feeling more empowered and with more knowledge and the capacity to go away and start a conversation,” says Brendan Maher.

“We did a lot of work with community leaders and service providers before we went to these communities to try and get a sense of what their needs were. We left with the feeling that we weren’t just heading off in a cloud of dust, but that we’d connected people to local services that they perhaps didn’t even know that they had and also connected them to respected community leaders who in many cases were willing to stand up and admit that they were themselves vulnerable human beings who had also been through their share of tough times.”

And that in essence is what it’s all about. The old saying, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ goes some way to explaining just how R U OK works and why it has been so readily accepted and embraced around the country. ‘No one is immune from tough times or tragedy and challenges’ says Maher, and that realisation in itself goes a long way to dispelling the stigma and getting people talking.

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